Archive: Around Town

SMART TALK SMART TALK

by Dr. Les Terse

NO DOUBT IN MY MIND: At the Center for English as a First Language, we treat basic redundancy disorder more than anything else. Redundancies surround us on all sides, and even appear in place names, such as Glendale, and our own Underbelly, Texas.

One of our patients was returning to campus last Sunday, having visited and enjoyed the service at The Complete and Total Church of the Whole Entire World and got stopped for speeding as she passed in front of Our Lady of Loving Disapproval. Father Peter Holdoff has been complaining about the danger to his parishioners. She was sure she wasn’t speeding and insisted on a trial.

In court, Constable Johnson (Clayton, Luke the mayor’s brother) testified that there was no doubt in his mind that our patient was speeding. She had the temerity to sass the constable, “Why would you explain that you had no doubt in your mind? Where else do you have doubts? In that dessert plate you call a belt buckle?”

She was promptly fined $100. But we’re proud that our treatment sank in.

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