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dearmargaretDear Margaret: My brother has a drinking problem. He generally ruins family events, embarrasses me with his behavior, and bottom line is I'm concerned for his health and well-being. I've talked to him on many occasions about it and he knows I disapprove. So now he tries to hide it from me. With the upcoming holidays I'm becoming more and more stressed over getting together with family because of him. How can I let him know how his addiction is affecting me and others and help him to be the brother he once was?
Saddened by Addiction
Dear Saddened by Addiction: First let me say I'm sorry this addiction has touched your family. It is indeed painful. Since your brother has taken to hiding his drinking, he already knows it is affecting you and others. Your job is to love your brother, not change him, as hard as that is to hear. If that means loving him from a distance, then that's what you must do. However, if you feel it's emotionally available to you, offer to take him to sober meetings, like Alcoholics Anonymous. Accompanying him may take some of the fear out of going himself. In any case, I strongly suggest you take care of yourself because dealing with an alcoholic can be exhausting. Al-Anon meetings and/or therapists can offer valuable relief. My best to you.


Click Here to write to Dear Margaret.  Margaret Snow is a Life Coach in Ithaca, NY.

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