Dear Margaret: My wife of just over a year is extremely shy and a real homebody.  She's my best friend and I feel fortunate to have her in my life. I love to socialize and it's hard for me to get her to attend events and parties. I'm feeling stifled. She does have a few close girlfriends she feels comfortable with. How can I to strike a balance where she can feel secure in attending functions with me so I can get much needed socialization? I don't feel good about going out without her.
Starved for a Social Life
 
Dear Starved for a Social Life: What are your wife's interests? Does she like gardening, reading, cooking, games, or music? What attracted you to her in the first place and where did you meet? Where did you go when you dated? Being shy can be extremely painful, and it's time to be creative and center some activities around what you know are of interest to her. Let her know how you are feeling and that you are willing to meet her somewhere in the middle. She may be uncomfortable at a cocktail party with people only you know. If it is important for your career to network at an event of this sort and you want her to come, assure her you won't leave her stranded. Entertain at your own home with enough people that she knows. She may never become a social butterfly, but striking a balance is possible. Show your willingness to respect her needs.

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