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dearmargaretDear Margaret: I'm in high school and am having trouble. My friends are now interested in doing things with older kids that we all said we'd never do, like lying about where they are to their parents, meaning going to parties where kids are drinking, etc. I've always been pretty popular, and don't want my friends to leave me behind. I also don't want to not be popular. How can I manage this problem?
Afraid of Losing Friends

Dear Afraid of Losing Friends: Without a doubt, this is one of the most challenging times in your life so far. You've been very clear about what you don't want. It may help to make a list, on paper, of what you DO want. Perhaps you want friends with the same values you have, good grades in school, the respect of your family and friends, excelling in a sport/art, and include long range goals. In another column decide which items are realistic. Next, decide how to cultivate the choices that reflect your goals and values. You may want to solicit help from an adult you respect. You are allowed to grieve those things in your life that don't fit into your plan, and I understand it may be painful. You are not alone, and you have my respect for showing the courage it takes to maneuver this difficult period.


Click Here to write to Dear Margaret.  Margaret Snow is a Life Coach in Ithaca, NY.

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