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Feb
09
2006
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by Ben Veaner
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Thursday, 09 February 2006 |
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v2i6
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Feb
03
2006
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by Jim Evans
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Friday, 03 February 2006 |
 SMART TALK
By Nurse Sotto Voce
GUIDANCE COUNSELOR: At the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, we’re proud to have made a change for the better in the schools here in Underbelly, Texas. Both Horace Smith Middle School and D.B. Wesson High now have counselors.
Doesn’t that seem reasonable? It wasn’t always so at Smith and Wesson, and the change took some time. First, we tried polite letters, which were apparently ignored. The change to counselors occurred after we packed a series of school board meetings and laughed whenever they said guidance counselors, which is as redundant as prerequisite.
It worked. No one likes to be laughed at, especially in public.
After all, the Guidance Department counsels, and the counselors guide, so why use both words for the staff? If a school insists upon calling these overworked people guidance counselors, it should officially have a Guidance Counseling Department.
Efficient language is better language.
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v2i5
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Feb
01
2006
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by Wendy Woods
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Wednesday, 01 February 2006 |
ITHACA, NY: On February 16, 17 and 18, 2006, the Kitchen Theatre Company's alternative series, KITCHEN COUNTER CULTURE continues its season with My Life in the Trenches. Written and performed by NYC-based actress/comedienne Jill Dalton, My Life in the Trenches portrays the poignant journey of an Army brat who goes against the pull of the south and wishes of her family to move to New York City and become an actress. This autobiographical solo play will run for only three performances from February 16th to the 18th (see performance calendar).
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Feb
01
2006
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by Ben Veaner
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Wednesday, 01 February 2006 |
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v2i5
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Jan
27
2006
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by Jim Evans
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Friday, 27 January 2006 |
SMART TALK
By Nurse “Gabby” Johnson
GENERAL PUBLIC: My cousin, Fred Johnson, likes to brag. Here in Underbelly, Texas, he operates Friendly Fred’s Football and Firearms Museum. He usually wears an Army football jersey to work.
As the very proud proprietor, he swears that he does a great service to the general public. He preaches that weapons are our best friends and says that nucular weapons should have been used in Iraq. (Of course, he pronounces it “eye-rack.”) He even hands out toy guns as free gifts to the kids.
At the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, we wonder if football and the military have become the same thing for Fred. And maybe he thinks the general public is the public of the highest rank, a very select group. The public that doesn’t buy his tickets might be the corporal public. And those who don’t think the way he does? Private public.
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v2i4
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