dearmargaretDear Margaret: My roommate of six months has gone from being a fun, enjoyable friend to acting possessive, criticizing my friends, and suffocating. She rents a room from me in my home, and I’m beginning to feel like a caged animal when she is around. I want her to leave, but don’t want to put her out on the street. When I tell her that I don’t appreciate her remarks about my friends, she says she didn’t mean it like and I misunderstood. When I say it’s not exactly what she said, but how she said it, she just looks at me like I’m being oversensitive. How can I resolve this?
Not a Home Sweet Home
Dear Not a Home Sweet Home:  The term for what she’s doing to you is called gaslighting, from a 1944 move staring Ingrid Bergman. When you call her on her bad behavior, she manipulates you into thinking you’re unstable and to think what you know you heard is untrue. Since you now have such negative feelings in her presence, give her a reasonable timeline to relocate. You should be able to feel emotionally safe in your own home.

Click Here to write to Dear Margaret.  Margaret Snow is a Life Coach in Ithaca, NY.

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