Archive: Arts & Entertainment

Ithaca, NY - On Thursday, November 5th, Giant Panda Guerilla Dub Squad performs at Castaways. GPGDS will be releasing a new album titled LIVE UP this fall. The sextet played at Rothbury, Reggae On The Rocks, and Wakarusa this summer, and recently had their touring van converted to run on waste vegetable oil.

SMART TALK
by Dr. Weiss N. Heimer


I COULD CARE LESS:  "Oh, not me.  I really don't care at all"

I enjoy saying that to prospective patients at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired.  I use it as a diagnostic tool.  If the patient is confused by my reply, he or she is showing a symptom of cerebroporosis. 

The institute checking in at the surgical unit of the William Safire Center.  Ask for a Logic Systems Implant (LSI). 

After the LSI procedure, the patient will say, "I couldn't care less."  You could  care less, you're obviously not down to zero on the caring scale, so you care.  At least a little.

Try it; it's fun:  The next time you hear someone whose brain has a faulty connection to his or her mouth say, "I could care less," reply, "Not me.  I actually don't care," and watch them.

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The Kitchen Theatre Company’s KITCHEN COUNTER CULTURE series, featuring extraordinary solo performances by guest artists from around the country, continues in November with the return of writer/performer Darian Dauchan. Dauchan will be at the Kitchen Theatre for an extended run of his solo piece, Entertainer’s Eulogy. Performances are Wednesday, November 4 through Sunday, November 8.

SMART TALK
by Dr. Parley Speake

COPARTNER:  Down the road in Los Libidos, Texas, Bedspring Tech's Dr. Lawrence Blithermore took Dr. Wade Bombast as copartner in a research project.

Here at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, I learned of this and said in an email to him that he should have said partner, but Dr. Blithermore also says coequal instead of equal, coconspirator instead of conspirator and conjoin instead of join.

The poor professor is a completion compulsive, and badly needs treatment at the institute. I feel better having reminded him of his problem, and I keep hoping he'll come in for help.

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Ah …. The Mediterranean calls us, a place rich in beauty and culinary talents. Alas, our bank account won’t get us there in the near future so we console ourselves by touring Mediterranean food in the Ithaca area. Last week several people waxed eloquent about Pita Gourmet over in Cortland on the east side of Main Street, but there are places closer to home that serve excellent Mediterranean food, as well.

The Tompkins County Public Library’s usually quiet Ezra Cornell Reading Room will be filled with the sounds of Depression Era music, Sunday, October 18 from 1:00 to 2:00 PM, as the Library welcomes Johnny Russo and Friends.

Russo, founder of the East Hill Classic Jazz Group and a local musical favorite, will be joined by Guitarist Douglas Robinson and Clarinetist Brian Earle for this performance, which is being held in celebration of the 2009 Community Read of John Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath.

Spooky delight awaits at Lansing High School's upcoming fall production of Dracula's Daughters: A Family Comedy, by Sean Abely. The comedy, directed by Karen Veaner, begins as a production of Dracula is taken over by audience members (Mairi Cardone and Erin Bell) who demand more romance, Dracula, (Ben Veaner), marries Mina (Sarah Mogil), and moves to the suburbs of Transylvania to raise their two daughters, Madeline, played by Kate Schuttenberg and Mildred, played by Michelle Hicks.

The Count of Darkness has all of the problems you might expect of the father of two half-vampire daughters, from garlic experimentation to rebellious blood drinking. When a variety of suitors (played by Gregory Wasenko, Danny Hughes, Robin Hicks and Armand Zerelli) with a variety of motives storm the castle, hilarity & romance ensue. Everett Brown rounds out the cast as "Renfield", an escaped asylum patient turned family butler.

SMART TALK
by Dr. Viva Palaver

COOPERATE TOGETHER:  As staff psychologist at the Institute for the Linguistically Impaired, I often counsel linguistic therapists who become so sickened by their patients' use of niceness and togetherness that they have violent thoughts.

Usually, these therapists have already become hyper-sensitized from treating a very difficult subset of patients.  Sadly impaired but very perky and vapidly cheerful, they use together like too much Bath & Body Works cologne.  They cooperate together (and cooperate with each other), interact together, conference together, dialogue together, and collaborate together - everything but learn good English together.

I counsel my therapist-clients that they're not crazy to repeat that simple language is good language, and that using redundancies is like painting an athletic trophy.

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The East End Community Center's first cookbook will be available at the Great Cortland Pumpkinfest this Saturday and Sunday at Court House Park.

 According to East End Center Board Member Linda Stock, who is the brainchild of this project, the cookbook was definitely a labor of love. Titled “A Taste Of Tradition,” the book is filled with tried and true recipes of Cortland residents.  When asked how she came up with the idea, Linda shared that she is an avid collector of cookbooks and her favorites are always the cookbooks created by organizations and communities.  She has found that the recipes in these books tend to be the best, as they traditionally have been handed down to family members and cherished over the years.  Many recipes have stories attached to them and preparing these recipes bring back warm memories of family gatherings and days gone by.

SMART TALK
by Dr. Verbos Metikulos


CONTINUE ON:  Obviously, linguistic impairment is no obstacle to getting a government job - consider a certain recent President - but thank goodness even the supreme mumbler Barney Frank says, "Let us continue."

Some folks, however, linger on instead of linger until they decide to continue on, or even proceed ahead, lest they lag behind.

I've been picking on obvious redundancies, but they remind me of the old joke with the oxymoron, advance to the rear.  But that comes under military intelligence, another oxymoron that is not our topic here.

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The Tompkins County Public Library will host acclaimed New York City-based actor Anthony Newfield for a performance of his play, “Steinbeck and the Land,” Monday, October 5, 2009 from 6:30 to 8:00 PM in the BorgWarner Community Room.