Archive: Arts & Entertainment

SMART TALK

by Dr. Shirley Glibb


OUR TWO-MONTH ANNIVERSARY: At the Center for English as a First Language, we usually encounter this kind of problem in younger patients. Somehow, they missed class the days they should have learned that annual means yearly, and anniversary means a yearly recurrence of a certain date. Yearly.

"Annus" means year in Latin. Not month. Not week. Year.

When a couple says it's their twentieth anniversary, does anyone think they've been together twenty months? And why not?

Very good, class.

Instead of two-month anniversary, the couple should say something like, "As of today, we've been together two months!" This would save them from sounding like chuckleheads.

Unless they relapsed and said two whole months. That would indicate treatment in the William Safire Center for temporal retentiveness.

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SMART TALK

by Dr. Verbos Metikulos

A HUNDRED AND TEN PERCENT: The last time I checked, "percent" meant "of a hundred." "Centum" is Latin for a hundred. That's why a century has a hundred years, a cent is a hundredth of a dollar, and a centenarian is a hundred years old.

At the Center for English as a First Language, we remind patients that "percent" means of a hundred. Therefore, a hundred percent is the entire baklava. Percents can't go higher than a hundred. Obviously.

Saying a hundred and ten percent advertises to the world that you believe in nonsense. You might as well tell everyone that diet drinks make you skinny.

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Aurora, New York—The Wells College Women’s Resource Center presents two opportunities to attend a V-Day production of Eve Ensler’s 'Vagina Monologues'. The performances will take place at 8:30 p.m. March 9 and 10 in the auditorium of Barler Hall on the Wells College campus.

The production consists of a series of themed monologues written from the points of women of all ages and backgrounds. Women from Wells’ community will perform dramatic readings of selected monologues to bring to light a variety issues relating to what it means to be a woman in society. The performances will raise funds and awareness to end violence against women and girls.

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SMART TALK

by Dr. Weiss N. Heimer

FALSE PRETENSES: Here at the Center for English as a First Language, we therapists treat patients with professional courtesy and respect at all times. Of course.

But I must confess, when a patient in private session says false pretenses, I often retort, "And what might a true pretense be, hmm?"

A pretense is something pretended. Of course. But saying false pretenses is like saying wet water. Saying false pretenses is a way of telling the world that you don't think much about what you say. And you do want people to know your brain is in gear before your mouth is in motion, right? Of course.

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Aurora, New York—Wells College presents a production of the original play 'If You Ever Come by Here', written and directed by Alex Riad ’12 as his performing arts senior thesis production. The performance will take place at 7:00 p.m. March 9 and 10 in the Recital Hall of Barler Hall on the Wells College campus. This event is free and the public is invited to attend.

'If You Ever Come by Here' addresses themes of guilt, honesty, friendship and selfishness as they relate to unrequited love. The play focuses on difficulties in the conflicted relationship between two twenty-somethings whose lives are characterized by misfortune -- Luke (Forrest Lambert ’14), who is unlucky, dissatisfied with life and imprudently in love with Kate (Claudia Nolan ’12), who is unable to return his feelings or to abandon her despairing friend.

The Tompkins County Public Library will participate in a community celebration of Cornell Alumnus E.B. White’s famed children’s book, “Charlotte’s Web,” with a  family-friendly exhibit including materials on-loan from Cornell University’s Kroch Library Rare Book and Manuscript Collection.

Opening March 9, the exhibit is one of many programs and events being promoted by the Family Reading Partnership in honor of the 40th anniversary of the publication of White’s beloved classic.