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I have never met a Bridezilla.You see, I absolutely adore photographing weddings.
By the time the wedding day arrives, we have spent enough time with our brides and their families to have moved past a vendor-client relationship and are now friends. How could I have a bad time when fulfilling a real need for a beloved friend?
How could you, as a bride, feel uptight when dealing with friends rather than a pricey vendor?
This brings us back to the relationship you have with your photographer. You MUST be comfortable around them.
But your photographer is only one part of your wedding day. What about all the rest?
How do you cope with the million details, vendors, guests flying in from Sioux Falls and his funny family? Is there a magic potion you can take, rub on or bathe in to make it all go wonderfully?
It’s not a potion, but it is relatively simple.
It’s all attitude. YOUR attitude, and the relationships you have built with your other vendors. Your choices of venues, caterer, DJ or band, photographer, videographer should be based on how well you feel about dealing with them, and the trust you feel that they are worthy of.
I counsel all of my brides that nothing will go right. As they choke back a nervous laugh, I follow up with, “but if you make it to the end of the day married, the day has been a success. EVERYTHING else is details.”
If you keep the most important thing about your wedding day central in your heart; the joining of you and the love of your life “together as one”, then everything else tends to fall into place. Or, if something DOES happen, like rain at an outside ceremony or Uncle Harry getting overly enthusiastic at the reception, it doesn’t matter nearly as much.
The important things are not material. Of course, you want it to be beautiful. If you are like most brides, you have been envisioning this day since you were a little girl, and want it to be the last scene of Cinderella. As you grow your vision becomes a little more realistic, but your yearning for beauty never fades. It SHOULDN’T fade.
Neither should your day be ruined by your reaction to the florist delivering tulips one shade off, or the caterer bringing Monterey Jack instead of Swiss cheese. Again, keep your eyes and your heart on what is truly important. Let inconsequential details be just that – inconsequential.
If you are having a huge, high budget wedding, by all means, hire a wedding planner. Let the planner have the headaches, but also make sure she is on board with your attitude, that the most important thing is at the altar with you, not that there is a stain on one napkin.
Let’s visit once more with the relationships you have with your vendors. I do not, in the slightest, want to give the impression that it is OK for vendors to not deliver what they promise. Those in the wedding professions hold themselves to an incredibly high standard, and are usually their own harshest critics. Troubles with most of them are rare, and if their service isn’t all that great, they probably are out of business already.
But life happens.
Be willing to roll with it, and keep your eyes on the prize. If something does go badly wrong, your attitude will stay in good shape and your joy will remain completely intact. Have the wedding planner cope with it, or handle it after the honeymoon.
This day and its joy are yours. Jealously protect and nourish that joy. It is the most wonderful gift that you and your lover can give, keep and share, all at once. Do not allow ANYTHING to cause you lose this gift.
Monroe Payne and his partner Mindy Porter are owners of The Payne Family Photographers . They have been life long residents of the Ithaca area, and have been in business since 1996, photographing weddings, families and events throughout the Northeast United States. Monroe is also a speaker and has hosted workshops on beginning photography and composition.
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