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dearmargaretDear Margaret: I've been with my wife for about 25 years. We've had a fairly steady relationship, with the normal ups and downs. Here we are in our later years, and I feel like I suddenly don't know who she is anymore. Over the past few years she's become more engaged with politics, environmental concerns, women's rights issues, and generally departing from a more subdued life to one of activism. We don't argue about her new persona by any means, but I'm worried she's leaving me behind. I'm not disinterested in the current political landscape, but I don't share her fervor. Will I lose her if I don't jump on the bandwagon? I don't want to be left behind.
Worried about Her Change
Dear Worried about Her Change: Changes throughout the relationship with your wife have apparently thus far been so subtle that you've never noticed a difference, until now. We all change and grow throughout our lives. Your wife is apparently mature enough to realize that not everyone can take on the role of advocacy, and she's independent enough to enter this arena knowing she has a partner that is perhaps an anchor. Since she's not criticizing you for lack of enthusiasm regarding her causes, and you're not making it difficult for her to pursue her new passions, a stable home environment with you may be exactly what keeps your relationship together, as long as you continue to listen to each other and are free to express your opinions. If you weren't fearful of her changes, would you admire her newfound vigor? She may appreciate hearing your thoughts.

Click Here to write to Dear Margaret.  Margaret Snow is a Life Coach in Ithaca, NY.

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