I have this nightmare – I’m in college, it’s finals week, and I haven’t felt it necessary to go to classes all semester – but here I am at the final without a clue.

Of course, it’s a dream. I shake off the cold sweat, realize that the world is where it’s supposed to be, and then go about my day.

But do you have any idea how many brides do almost exactly the same thing? They hire the vendors, the hall, the photographer, the florist and the baker, then just assume it will all fall into place.

Ok, sometimes it works. Wedding professionals know how it’s supposed to go, and are generally pretty good at anticipating your needs and desires, but we ARE NOT mind readers!

Here is your homework.

Assignment 1.

Get at least two references from each of your vendors, and actually call them. It is not good enough to accept those testimonials on face value. CALL those people, and ask them not only how the vendor performed, but what they thought the vendor could have done to make their day better.

Then, call your vendor back or sit down with them and talk it over. Vendors will treasure this information, and this will cement your relationship with them. Wedding pros thrive on feedback, and are always delighted to learn ways to make their service more valuable.

If you can actually see an event in progress that the vendor is servicing, so much the better.

Assignment 2.

Communicate! As I said, vendors are not mind readers. TELL them what you want. Tell the DJ that you absolutely want NO rap or off-color music. Tell the florist that your Mom is allergic to lilies. Tell the caterer that curry in any form is OFF the menu. Tell the photographer to be sure to get a photo of your uncle who flew in from Idaho for the wedding.

If you don’t tell them, they won’t know.

And now, the most important tip of all.

An Attitude of Gratitude.

Be thankful in every aspect of your wedding and its preparation.

Vendors are people too. They want, more than anything, anything else, is to be APPRECIATED! Ok, the money is important, but if they aren’t appreciated for their expertise, they wouldn’t be in business.

So thank them! Be grateful for every piece of advice, for every job well done, for every kindness that is shown you. If your vendors know you appreciate them, they will move the earth and the planets to do their part better than they have ever done in the past.

Making your wedding day the “perfect” day.

Remember, no act of kindness is ever wasted!

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Monroe Payne and his partner Mindy Porter are owners of The Payne Family Photographers . They have been life long residents of the Ithaca area, and have been in business since 1996, photographing weddings, families and events throughout the Northeast United States. Monroe is also a speaker and has hosted workshops on beginning photography and composition.
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