Ain’t love grand?

Don’t you wish love came with money?

Many of the loveliest couples I’ve been involved with have a great quantity of love, and a scarce quantity of money. Having started out my marriage in a very similar circumstance, I can relate.

So how can the couple in love begin their lives together without becoming impossibly in debt?
Elope.

Ok, that won’t be an acceptable solution for most, since every little girl has dreamed of that “Cinderella” moment, where she is the most fabulously beautiful girl in the world.
That moment needs to happen somehow, so let’s explore ways to be beautiful, but a lot less expensive.

These are ideas that some of my wedding clients have used to bring the cost of the wedding into line with their financial condition. If any of you have found ways to bring costs down but still enjoy a gorgeous wedding day, please let me know. I’d love to hear from you!

The first thought in Central New York involves our awesome Parks. I have photographed weddings at Taughannock Falls, Robert Treman, (both upper and lower), Watkins Glen, Havana Glen and Fillmore Glen. Costs for the parks are minimal, and the natural backdrop is spectacular. There are other venues ranging from a family friend’s estate (if you have those friends) to city parks. I would recommend tents for any outdoor celebration, as central New York weather is never to be trusted.

Food. Is there a law that you have to have a sit down reception? You can have a great reception using a dessert bar with coffee and punch. Let Aunt Mary (EVERYBODY has an Aunt Mary…) orchestrate the desserts – and have everybody bring something different.

Let it be known ahead of time that a great wedding present would be a few bottles of champagne to be used for the toast. Trust me, you will have enough left over for the honeymoon.

Liquor? If your friends won’t come unless you provide liquor, they aren’t friends. Really. Again, this is one of those things that have moved toward being a tradition, but don’t quite meet muster.

Music? Practically everybody has a friend with a great music collection. Spend a few hours selecting songs you want, and just play them. Have your future brother-in-law run the CD player.

The dress. Plan on doing some homework here. My awesome wife Janet made both of my daughter’s wedding dresses – and her own too, for that matter. All 3 dresses were magnificent. If you have someone with those skills in your family, wonderful. If not, there are some alternatives.

First, eBay. Make DARN sure your sizes are accurate, because there’s no returning these.

Another choice is, are you ready for this? Salvation Army. Before you shout at the computer, let me explain. The best households in our town donate to the Salvation Army. There are one or two wedding dresses hanging up there every other week when I go in.

Occasionally, there is an absolutely stunning dress, but you will not ever see it unless you go in there on a regular basis. I shop there all of the time – why should I pay $35 for a shirt I can get at Sal’s for $2? So what if it’s been worn twice? And your dress has only been worn once!

If you do go the Sal’s or eBay route, find a seamstress who will fit it to you. That might cost more than the dress, but will be worth it for your Cinderella moment.

Flowers? What’s blooming? Lilacs? Tulips, Dafodils? Fresh flowers, picked that morning are always beautiful. Little pots of flowering plants can be purchased inexpensively at Lowes or Home Depot or Agway. If that’s not an option, I’ve seen some lovely creations made from silk flowers purchased at WalMart.

So where is this all going?

I truly love all of my clients. The most important thing, the centerpiece of the celebration is the Bride and Groom, and their commitment that they make to each other. That love, that awesome aura, colors everything in and about the wedding, enhancing the beauty of every single element in the day.

It is a thoughtful, mature couple that understands what is important and what is a detail. I counsel my brides that if they are married at the end of the day, it has been a success, EVERYTHING else is just details. It is also a wise couple who understands that expense is not what the day is about, and that going into serious debt for a party is not necessary.

My life has not been one involving great amounts of money, but it HAS been one involving extraordinary quantities of love.

So, have you noticed that I haven’t discussed the photographer yet?

The photos are very important, and I can tell you a few things that don’t work.

Don’t count on friends taking pictures. Trust me.

And those cameras that you can buy cheap, and leave at each table? They either don’t get left in the box at the exit, or the 8 year old at the table gets it and takes 20 photos of the floor. We tried it, and got 4, only 4 decent photos from 36 cameras and their 36 processing fees.

Uncle Harry might take great vacation photos, but weddings are not his strength. He tends to get into the booze at the reception too.

I would humbly suggest that you hire a professional for your wedding, however humble. This is personally one of my greatest regrets, that I had no photographer for MY wedding, almost 35 years ago. We have about 15 faded 3 X 5 snapshots, that is all.

So if you can’t hire an established pro, find a new aspiring photographer who wants to make a name for themselves. Let him experiment on you, and try new things. Offer, in return, for him to use your photos for his advertisement and promotion. Always, however, make absolutely sure that your photographer respects the sanctity of the wedding. This is, above all, YOUR day, your commitment, your celebration.

Until next time.

 

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Monroe Payne and his partner Mindy Porter are owners of The Payne Family Photographers . They have been life long residents of the Ithaca area, and have been in business since 1996, photographing weddings, families and events throughout the Northeast United States. Monroe is also the Vice Chair of the Finger Lakes section of the Professional Photographers Society of New York State, and active with the volunteer photographers organization "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep".
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